How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
