I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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