Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
