just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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