i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he shaved USA in his pubs
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
