2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Alive.
So much puke
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
