I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
