Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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