Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
