Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
