Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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