she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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