I look better un-naked...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
