Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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