so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
