so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
