The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
