Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
