Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This is my gift to your gina
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
