Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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