He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
