Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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