what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
