im drinking this country out of the recession.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
