that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
