they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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