You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
