thus making me awesome and them whores
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
