Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I love having hate sex.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
