We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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