With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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