after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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