Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
