I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
