We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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