apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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