people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
