Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
