Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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