watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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