So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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