I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
