The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
