Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
