Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
