I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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