So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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