Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
