Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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