I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
