Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
