Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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