I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
