trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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