Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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